How to Date Your Wife

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By Otto Collins

Trey didn’t mean anything by it…he was just surfing the internet one evening and found himself at a dating website. He wasn’t intending to create an account, but, before he knew it, he did just that.

None of this would have been a problem except for the fact that Trey is married and he wants to stay married. The evening when he created an account on the online dating site, he was feeling restless, bored and lonely.

It seems that his wife is always busy with other people and things besides him. When the two of them are home alone together– which feels like a rarity– they always do the same things. They share a meal, watch some television or a movie and then go to bed…sometimes they have sex.

But, even when they do have sex, they make love in the same ways that they’ve always made love. Trey wonders if his very predictable, non-spontaneous and dull marriage is partly why he visited that dating site and created an account.

What Trey does next can either make or break his marriage. It’s his decision whether he will continue down this path and possibly end up involved in an online affair which may lead he and his wife to get a divorce…or he can make a different choice.

Trey could re-focus his energy and attentions back to his wife and their marriage. He can start to do things that will possibly help he and his wife move closer together again.

One way Trey could do this is to start dating his wife.

Even if you’ve never logged onto an online dating website and created an account, you might also be feeling bored and restless with your marriage. You could also choose to date your wife in order to improve the connection, passion and enjoyment of your relationship.

Why would I date someone I’m already married to?

You might have mixed feelings when you think about dating. Perhaps, for you, approaching women and asking them out on a date was emotionally difficult and possibly even painful.

Maybe you dated a lot of women before you met the woman who is now your wife and maybe you only dated a few. Your wife may have been the only woman you ever truly dated.

One thing for certain is that, regardless of whether the date itself was a total bust or an absolute “home run,” you probably felt alive and excited.

This is why it’s a great idea to date your wife. If you want to infuse your marriage with more passion and life, ask her out on a date.

You could call her on the phone and, as if you’re not already married, invite her to meet for coffee, to go dancing, for a hike in the woods or whatever activity would be enjoyable for both of you.

It’s probably best to take her on a date and do some activity that will allow you two to focus in on one another and not on a band, movie, lecture, etc. If you do choose something like a movie or concert for your date, be sure you include plenty of time during your date for one-on-one time where you two can really talk and look each other in the eye.

Learn and do something new.

In the past, when you went on a date with a woman you didn’t know well, you probably were curious. Maybe you asked her a lot of questions about what she likes and dislikes in order to get to know her better. She probably asked you questions too.

As completely as you believe you know your wife, for the evening, forget all that you think you know about her. Get curious and ask her questions. If your evening ends with the two of you in bed being sexually intimate, explore her body and find out what she likes the most.

The goal here is to return your focus to each other and to tap into that excitement and sense of eagerness to know more about this attractive and interesting person in your life. No matter how many years you’ve been married, there is ALWAYS something new for you to learn and do together.

Get Otto Collins’ FREE report: “10 Biggest Relationship and Passion-Killing Mistakes Men Make (and What To Do About It.)” when you sign up for his “Light Her Up” relationship advice newsletter for men at

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